Looking back to look forward. Reflecting on the past to anticipate the future.
The people of God have done this since the beginning. Reflected on the faithfulness of God through time. Not to remind Him to be faithful again, but to remind themselves that He is always faithful. It is His nature. We cannot separate God from His faithfulness as though it were a quality He sometimes exercises. He is faithful in every moment. Not just when I feel like He is.
I am currently reading a book about burnout and women in ministry. The chapter I just finished spent a good bit of space talking about the times the author was disappointed with God. She had trusted and prayed and been faithful to obey, but God let her down. He didn’t come through. As I reflected on her words I was reminded - He didn’t come through *the way she wanted*. She was disappointed with Him because she expected that her prayers and faithfulness to Him would result in things going her way. But they didn’t. And so she was upset, confused, sometimes angry, questioning. Sounds like me.
Over the past year, I have prayed and dreamed for things that didn’t happen. I have followed God’s lead and obeyed when His instructions didn’t line up with what I wanted. I have held deep hope and felt the pain when it was crushed.
But all along, God was faithful. He never let me down. No, the circumstances didn’t work out how I asked Him. I was disappointed, I am disappointed, but not with Him. Because I know Him. I trust Him.
Disappointment is guaranteed. If you haven’t already felt it, you will. Because we live in a world that is broken by sin. There is sin in general that affects everything. But we are also impacted by our own individual sins and the consequences we bring upon ourselves.
But that voice that is telling me this is God letting me down? Every word that voice speaks is a lie. God didn’t cause my brokenness or my pain. Actually, He went out of His way to heal. God didn’t let me down this year. God worked in deep places to bring restoration and life.
If I’m saying I trust God, then I need to *trust* Him. Trust isn’t something I only do if things work out how I wanted. That’s good feelings based on shallow convenience. Trust says, “Even when everything goes sideways and not one thing works out, I will continue to decide that He is just and kind and worthy. And I'll live like it's true.”
So yes, this year held many things. Joy, gut-wrenching heartache, side-splitting laughter, pain, a lot of unknowns, and comfort.
But I know this - My God is faithful. He is trustworthy. He is good and kind. And I will continue to put my hope in Him. Because He is worthy.
Starting into a new year encourages us to look back and reflect, to look ahead and anticipate. But remember this - “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.'” Lamentations 3:22-24
His mercies are new every morning, not just every new year. He is always faithful.
